It seems to be the nature of a woman to compete, rather than help her fellow sister. On Beyonce’s surprise album, dialogue two minutes into the song ‘Flawless’ really caught my attention as the elegant-sounding lady explained how the minds of women in our society were structured. “We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or accomplishments which I think would be a good thing, but for the attention of men.”
I’m not here to talk about Beyonce, nor will I go into details about women reaching (and I mean reaching) for the attention of men. Instead, I want to highlight the rise in girl bosses, the girl boss I discovered in a peer I never associated with until now, and the girl boss in you. (‘Girl boss’ was coined by Sophia Amoruso, founder and CEO of Nasty Gal-a thriving clothing store. She wrote a book to detail her journey and lessons learned, but I fell in love with the term ‘girl boss’ as I realized I was surrounded by them.) I’d like to define ‘girl boss’ as a woman of character, hard-working and goal-driven, mature and cooperative, a leader and a team player, chasing success- not men! Women are rising in the ranks throughout politics, corporate America, and likewise, the entrepreneurial world. More girl rappers, DJs, bosses! If only all women could work together, in harmony, to motivate and inspire the youth to be greater. Collaboration is more valuable than competition in this sense.
I was simply following my heart when I jumped on an opportunity to model, despite the fact the post was from an old classmate I never talked to. This act led to opportunities and an even bigger responsibility relative to my entrepreneurial dreams and I ended up making a new team of friends and business partners. We went to high school together and though we were in different circles, we both had our own strings of drama dealings- aiding in the building of character, making us the women we are today. I’ve heard her say multiple times, “I use to not care about anybody’s feelings. Now I’m more loving, giving.” Similarly, my trials led me to think very little of people in general and I gave up hope on love, most friendships, and the like. But recent revelations have shown me a better perspective and I’ve regained a hope for my people, learned to walk in love, and now me and my peer have crossed paths.
Learning to overlook petty situations, see the good in people, and cooperate for the painting of the bigger picture is absolutely necessary to succeed at being a girl boss. Kiana Parker, 22, and mother of 2-year old twin girls, is on her feet nonstop as she works to make her dream a reality, opening a boutique in Houston housing fashion for all ages. A la Mode Butik’ would still be a dream if Kiana hadn’t tapped into her inner girl boss. She admits she had to let a lot of things go once she found out she was pregnant. Ms. Parker displays maturity and girl boss qualities as she puts God first and avoids negativity and childish things. She is more interested in doing business with loyal people and giving back to the community as she creates jobs and opportunities. “You can’t get far being solo. If you do, it takes longer. I was like that at first- thinking I didn’t need help, wanting all the shine, but one person can’t do it all. As you form a team, you get to watch everybody put their all into what they’re doing because it’s their passion…it’s what they love doing”, explained Kiana.
Its important to know what you want, and what you don’t want. Its vital to study who you are, for self discovery leads to self mastery and girl boss status. I don’t judge; whether you want to read the bible, study horoscopes, or practice yoga- how you discover your inner talents, thoughts, dreams, and relationship with the universe is a personal preference, yet a major move. This is what makes life amazing…passion, discovering one’s greatness and purpose. Girls, whatever you’ve gone through in the past, wherever you are now, it was all meant to be. You decide..be in competition for the rest of your lives or collaborate with the strong women among you to achieve bigger and better things beyond what you can imagine. As girl boss Kiana stated, “I want to see everybody eating at the top with me.” Go girls! It is very possible.
**Originally published to The Young Houston Magazine in 2014**